As if everything Apple does for us isn't enough, there's a rumor spreading fast around the internet that everyone's favorite CEO has farts that cure cancer, and you know what?
I believe it!!!
I do! I has to be true! Maybe someone will release a widget that can keep track of just how many people have been cured, or will have some kind of simulation animation. That would be awesome. I love Apple.
It sure is great that Apple loves us so much and is so cool to all of us Apple lovers. They would never do anything that compromised those of us who have been loyal Mac fans for years and years. I sure am glad there's no way we're going to hear any bad news tomorrow!
A friend who works near someone who has a friend that IM's with someone at Apple says Steve Jobs is often seen flying around the offices. That's right FLYING. No jet pack or anything, just on his own power. That rules. I'm trying to get ahold of some phone cam shots to prove it right now, but until then we'll have to just assume it's true.
Why is Apple so great to us? Sometimes I wonder why they give so much and ask so little in return.
DRM controled songs are a small price to pay for the wonder that is iTunes. All of my music, organized in such a way that I could never dream of doing. It's as if I have my very own librarian of Babel that can reorganize my music on a whim.
And my iPod is a slice of a cloud, imported from heaven. Absolutley lovely. The audio quality is purely divine and transforms even Limp Bizkit into an angelic choir.
Apple is a great company who'd never do anything to hurt their loyal customers. Everything they do is for our own good.
I just caught wind that Steve Jobs just went in on a unicorn farm with Pixar pal John Lasseter!
They're probably cooking up something amazing!
More on this story as it develops...
June 1, 2005: I'm to understand that the location of said unicorn farm is a secret. Some have said that this is because of the endangered status of the unicorn, which is understandable.
June 3, 2005: An insider has reported that large shipments of industrial milking equipment and high grade hay has been delivered to the Pixar studios in the past few days. This would explain the rainbows that have been hovering over the complex for the past few days.
I don't know about you, but my interests are really piqued now...