Monday, June 06, 2005

Big News from the WWDC

The news everyone has been waiting for from the WWD has been released, rumors have been confirmed and the announcement everyone has been expecting is now official:

"Apple has ruled, currently rules, and will continue to rule for the foreseeable future."

I have to admit, before this I was a touch anxious but now that the this has come to light I'm happy again. Apple Rules!!

This Just In!

Apple is the greatest company on the face of planet earth.

If Apple were a man, I'd let it marry my daughter. Or my gay son.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Sweet Jesus!

This has to be personal computing's tastiest announcement ever!

Apple's switching to Sun Chips!!!1one

*drool* Harvest Cheddar... I wonder how the low carb pundits are going to take this.

Steve Jobs' Farts Cure Cancer

As if everything Apple does for us isn't enough, there's a rumor spreading fast around the internet that everyone's favorite CEO has farts that cure cancer, and you know what?

I believe it!!!

I do! I has to be true! Maybe someone will release a widget that can keep track of just how many people have been cured, or will have some kind of simulation animation. That would be awesome. I love Apple.

I Know A Secret

*sigh* I just heard the most beautiful news about what's going down at the WWDC tomorrow.

Jobs is unveiling a G5 Powerbook. And it's going to leverage Inkwell.

I know what you've heard. Even tho that press release released earlier in the week looked bunk, it was dead on. The fact that it looked as if it were faked was merely a red herring.

Steve, you cheeky monkey...

Tomorrow we'll get the G5 goodness in a form that we've longed for. I think we'll all be pleasantly surprised by what's said in the keynote.

Apple Loves Us!

It sure is great that Apple loves us so much and is so cool to all of us Apple lovers. They would never do anything that compromised those of us who have been loyal Mac fans for years and years. I sure am glad there's no way we're going to hear any bad news tomorrow!

Saturday, June 04, 2005

No Bad News Today!

So that means all the news is great! Fantastic!! It's awesome that we all have no bad Apple news to worry about. Life is rad!

Breaking News: Jobs can Fly!

A friend who works near someone who has a friend that IM's with someone at Apple says Steve Jobs is often seen flying around the offices. That's right FLYING. No jet pack or anything, just on his own power. That rules. I'm trying to get ahold of some phone cam shots to prove it right now, but until then we'll have to just assume it's true.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Everything is wonderful

So looks like all the news from Apple is great today and there's nothing to worry about at all. All looks wonderful.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

God Bless Steve Jobs

Why is Apple so great to us? Sometimes I wonder why they give so much and ask so little in return.

DRM controled songs are a small price to pay for the wonder that is iTunes. All of my music, organized in such a way that I could never dream of doing. It's as if I have my very own librarian of Babel that can reorganize my music on a whim.

And my iPod is a slice of a cloud, imported from heaven. Absolutley lovely. The audio quality is purely divine and transforms even Limp Bizkit into an angelic choir.

Apple is a great company who'd never do anything to hurt their loyal customers. Everything they do is for our own good.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


Have I mentioned how Awesome Apple is recently? I can't even believe it myself. Wow!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

You Won't Belive This... But It's True!

I just caught wind that Steve Jobs just went in on a unicorn farm with Pixar pal John Lasseter!

They're probably cooking up something amazing!

More on this story as it develops...

June 1, 2005: I'm to understand that the location of said unicorn farm is a secret. Some have said that this is because of the endangered status of the unicorn, which is understandable.

June 3, 2005: An insider has reported that large shipments of industrial milking equipment and high grade hay has been delivered to the Pixar studios in the past few days. This would explain the rainbows that have been hovering over the complex for the past few days.

I don't know about you, but my interests are really piqued now...